Sundry Drive No. 8
/Do you want to release an effect, but the method is a hot piece of shit? Well, something that works really well -- especially in the mentalism community -- is to say that your method is "bold." So just write out an honest description of your method, but substitute "bold" in for "shitty." Like if you have a method that works only 60% of the time, and even when it does it's the most blatant, obvious method, just be like, "This method is pretty bold."
Another hot tip is to say your method is "a little cheeky." If you say your method is "bold, and a little cheeky," that means it sucks shit, isn't reliable, and a 6-year-old could have thought of it.
There are certain goals in life that I don't understand. Like running a marathon. I understand it's an accomplishment, but whenever someone I know says, "I ran a marathon!" I always think, "You should have ran twenty-eight miles. That would be more impressive." Because 26.2 is just an arbitrary number, and you can always theoretically run a little further, so with any running based accomplishment I'm always like, "Huh, you should have kept running. You stopped just short of doing something even more impressive."
That's why I like binary goals. Dunk a basketball. Do a backflip. Be able to bench-press as much as you weigh.
I especially like that last goal because you can attack it from two ways, either build your muscles or lose weight.
I've decided on a goal for myself recently. I want to be able to solve a Rubik's cube underwater. Not for the sake of other people, but just for my own entertainment. So do I increase my lung capacity or do I try and solve a Rubik's cube quicker? I don't know. I think it's important to have stupid goals in your life.
What does this have to do with magic? Nothing really. I'm trying to give you a peek into my soul, man. My Soul!!!!
Speaking of a peek into my soul, one thing that made me happy this week was when I googled the phrase "Cram it up your buttholes, bitches," and saw that it had never been used before (at least online). Kind of hard to believe for a phrase that has such a lovely rhythm and poetry to it.
Inspiration for a self-referential magic trick.
"This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important." -- Gary Provost
