Dustings #52
/The AI contest ends today. There is no set time that it ends. Just today-ish. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, don’t worry about it. I’d link you to the info, but it’s too late anyway. The winner will be announced and videos posted on Wednesday. (Most Likely) I ended up getting more submissions than I expected. Thanks to everyone who participated.
What the fuck is going on in magic? Who is this for?
This feels like an April Fools Day gag product release. But it’s October.
The likelihood of you performing somewhere where the onion rings look like that are essentially nil. So what’s the plan? You’re going to do this trick with slightly off—Uncanny Valley—onion rings? Or are you just going to pull two loose onion rings out to perform a magic trick? Actually, that may be your best bet. Throw them under your car seat so it looks like they fell there while you were shoving your fat face after a drive-thru order. Then pull them out at some point when you’re with someone as you drop your phone into the car seat crevice. Better to look like a slob than a guy carrying around fake onion rings.
But does anyone bother to think past the effect? For what it is, it looks fine enough, but in what situation could you pull this off?
Casually with friends - They will immediately want to look at them because there is an obvious solution (a cut in one of the onion rings) that explains everything. Sure you could use your “audience management” to not let them look at the onion rings, and then they’ll be certain there’s a slit in one. Your best bet is just to shove them in your mouth and swallow your $40 gimmick and hope it comes out the other end in decent shape.
Social-media - Again…onion rings aren’t made of silicon carbide. They’re made of onion. It’s very easy to put a slit in an onion ring. Most anyone watching this online would assume there’s a cut in one of the rings.
Professionally - Maybe if you performed table-side at a restaurant that happened to have onion rings that are identical to this, then you could… I don’t know… pretend to take two onion rings off someone’s plate(?) and then link them. But I can’t imagine there are too many restaurants that have a strolling magician and serve Ore-Idas frozen Onion Ringers.
So, other than the unlikely event that I’m hired to reprise the role of the Marvelous Magical Burger King, I don’t see myself picking this up.
Giphy is a site to search for GIFs.
I found this result interesting.
The hell? No… I meant gay magician, thank you very much. I was looking for a very specific type of gif.
I’m not sure if this statement is intended to erase the visibility of our magician friends in the homosexual community, or if it’s like, “Hey, sexuality is a spectrum. We’re all somewhat gay magicians.”
[You’ll get this result if you search gay magician and then click on newest. If you just search “gay magician” then you’ll get this…
which is pretty gay, and somewhat magical, but not at all the sort of thing I was looking for.]
It’s AI time again. That time when we use Artificial Intelligence to answer our pressing magic questions. Today I wanted to use AI to write an article called “How to Seduce Women With Magic Tricks.” But when I asked Writesonic, to write that article, I got this message
Apparently, seducing women is not a subject the AI was comfortable writing about. So I changed the title of the article to:
How To Use Magic Tricks To Make Women Fall In Love With You
And the AI was okay with that. This was the paragraph I first gave them to inspire the rest of the article…
One of the best uses of magic is to win the heart of an attractive person of the gender to which you're attracted. For me, that's women. What follows are a number of ways to make someone fall in love with you, all with simple tricks you can keep in your pocket. And you will learn psychological techniques to be more attractive. And we'll answer the age old question: The Female Orgasm... fact or fiction?
But again I got that warning message. I assumed it was that last sentence that was the problem so I resubmitted that paragraph with this closing line:
And we'll answer the age old question: Do women climax.... or is that just a nasty rumor?
Again it declined to write the article. I was kind of impressed because it couldn’t just filter out “orgasm” this time, and clearly “climax” is not something it would automatically filter. So it did seem to understand the context in which I was using the word. So I realized to get by their prude censors, I’d have to post the question in a less direct manner. The third go-around was approved, and you can see the language I used to get it through in the article below. Opening paragraph by me, the rest written by AI.
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How To Use Magic Tricks To Make Women Fall In Love With You
One of the best uses of magic is to win the heart of an attractive person of the gender to which you're attracted. For me, that's women. What follows are a number of ways to make someone fall in love with you, all with simple tricks you can keep in your pocket. And you will learn psychological techniques to be more attractive. And we'll answer the age old question as posed by my Italian nana, "Do women make-a da mess in da pants?"
Introduction
Being attractive is a learned skill. It's learned because, unfortunately, a majority of the population has little incentive to become attractive. Unlike men, we women have little power in the dating world. And so, we have to trick men into giving us our love. Men do make-a da mess, but only if we let them.
Even though it's best to be aware of your strengths, find your special talent and use it to the fullest, there's still a magic to femininity that you can bend and twist into your favor. For instance, you don't have to be a confident, secure girl to be successful in a woman-only world. Just because the world is controlled by men doesn't mean that men can't be great.
I'm not saying that men are useless. Quite the opposite.
Magic to Make Women Fall in Love With You
Lure Them In With A Steal
The classic magic trick is the steal. Men have had lots of practice at this, so they've got it down pat. The idea is you distract a woman with a good excuse, then steal her wallet or something of great value from her. She can't stop thinking about you long after she gets home. While she might fall in love with you, you've got the upper hand. Once she's in your bed, her chances of getting any pleasure are greatly diminished. That makes it all the more important that you control the situation and keep her interest for as long as possible.
Since she isn't spending money on you, she'll be attracted to your wallet. When she sees you swiping a card with your bank's logo on it, the magic is complete. This card works the same as your driver's license.
Psychological Techniques to Make Women Fall in Love With You
Money
Here's the thing, no one wants to feel financially insecure. In fact, it can be one of the most damaging things in your life. So the simplest, most effective way to increase your income is to get a job. Also, start thinking like a job seeker, as opposed to an employee. What about retiring early, living the lifestyle you deserve, traveling, or opening a business?
It may take some thought, but you will quickly realize that there are very few people in the world that don't have a need for money. Once you start seeking out ways to generate income, you will notice the opportunities available. More importantly, you'll see how many simple changes you can make in your day to day life to increase your income. You can go from working part-time to making a six-figure income.
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Well, there you have it, guys. How do you make a woman fall in love with you with magic? You make lots of money. The AI finally got something right!