The Jerx Cold Approach

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Building off of an email in last Friday’s mailbag, I want to talk about cold approaching. While I would never walk up to a stranger on the street and offer to show them a trick, I would turn to a stranger in a cafe and show them something. Which is obviously similar in a way.

I wouldn’t say this is something I do a ton. That is, I don’t often do a completely cold approach. Usually I’ll engage in a conversation and do some “baiting” (as described in The JAMM #1). Or I’ll use a “hook” as I originally described in this post (and as will be expanded on in the next book). Those are both techniques to get them to initiate the effect.

But occasionally I will make a trick itself my initial interaction with someone.

Here is my big tip for that situation. Do not say, “Hey, do you want to see a magic trick?” or “Want to see something cool?” Instead say something like, “Could I get your help with something?”

I’ve mentioned this in the past to other magicians and sometimes their attitude suggested they didn’t like the idea. “Asking for their help rather than giving them the gift of a magical performance?" was kind of the gist of their response. Or, "I don’t want to ask for their help. That makes it sound like this is going to be burdensome. I want them to know it’s going to be fun.” I promise you, if you think this way, you lack an understanding of people. People are usually more than happy to help someone, even a stranger. On the other hand, being unexpectedly thrust into the role of “audience member” is not something people are generally super comfortable with.

Asking for “a little help with something” is a very non-threatening and disarming way to engage another person. Ask Ted Bundy. That’s how he would get hot co-eds to go off with him where he could murder and rape them. In that order.

It’s one thing if you’re going to go up to them with a camera to film something for youtube, then you can say, “Want to see a magic trick?” But that’s not the right approach for a more low-key initiation.

So I always frame it as them offering me help. And I keep up that attitude through the whole thing. I thank them at the end for their help. Ideally they’re thinking, “Why is he thanking me? That was awesome.”

Here are the ingredients to The Jerx Cold Approach, for use in cafes, lounges, bars, parks, libraries, trains, buses, planes, and other places you might be passing time around strangers.

  1. Ask if you can get their help with something.

    “Excuse me. Could I get your help with something?”

  2. Acknowledge any awkwardness and give a sentence of background.

    “I know this is a little unusual, but…

    …I have this magic trick I’m working on and I just need someone else’s eyes to tell me if this looks right.”

    or

    … I need an unbiased opinion on something I’m working on?”

    Or words to that effect.

  3. Mention some short timeframe.

    “It will just take a minute.”

  4. Show them something quick.

    Stick to your word and make it not take much more than a minute.

  5. Thank them for their help and pull back.

    Get your “help” and stop bothering them. This wasn’t an excuse to chat them up. If they want to continue the interaction they will come to you with a question or response to what happened. This happens almost always. Probably 95 times out of 100. (Assuming the trick was good and you’re not creepy.)

That’s it. Very simple. The idea is to ease people into the trick, but do it quickly.

And here are my “Dont’s” for cold approaching.

Don’t disturb people if they’re busy.

This should go without saying. If they’re studying or reading or have headphones on, let them be.

Don’t hesitate.

You are sitting there reading, writing, playing with cards, or whatever. You turn to the person and engage with them. Don’t sit there staring at them, thinking whether you’re really going to interact with them. Just get to it and ask. If they sense you’re stalking them, it’s going to creep them out.

Don’t say “mind reading” or “psychological experiment” or anything that might sound potentially invasive.

It’s just a “trick” or a “thing I’m working on.” Something like that. If, after the effect, there is a connection and you keep talking, you can feel free to paint a weirder picture for them. But initially you just want it to feel like it’s going to be quick and uncomplicated..

Compare these two situations.

  1. Someone turns to you and says, “Do you want to hear a monologue from a play?”

  2. Someone turns to you and says. “Can I get your help with something? I know this is a little odd, but I need to memorize this monologue for a play I’m trying out for. I think I’ve got it, but would you mind looking it over while I recite it to see if there’s anything I’m missing? It will just take a minute.”

If you don’t see that the second way—while still an unusual request—is a much more natural and gentle way to get into the interaction, then you may be beyond hope. Of course, if you want to be that blatant for whatever reason, go ahead. I’m not writing this post to change anyone’s mind if they think that’s a good way of doing it. I’m writing it for the people who see the flaw with the first approach but don’t know a better option. The people who write me and say, “How do you initiate a trick with someone when you don’t know them. Just say, ‘Hey, want to see a magic trick?’” No. I don’t do that. This post is what I do.