A Critical Examination of an Important New Magic Release
/Daniel Madison is releasing a version of Expert at the Card Table today. It’s not updated, it’s not annotated. It just has his tattoos added to the hands in the illustrations.
Very funny, Andy.
I’m not kidding. I wish I was this funny. If I was going to make up a stupid Daniel Madison related project it would have been like, a whiskey-scented Octopalm, or a sponge ding-dong with a Prince Albert piercing. I could never have conceived of something this good. It’s legit. Here’s the link.
I know what you’re doing right now. You’re feeling your face to check the beard growth. “Clearly,” you’re thinking, “I was trampled by a team of clydesdales and I have been in a coma and I’ve just woken up and it’s April Fools Day. Oh please, benevolent God, please let it just be four months that I have been away. I shan’t be able to bear it if I have lost multiple years of my precious life with my sweet Alma, and our children, Effie, Jasper, Silas, Edith, Fannie, Wallace, Owen, Ida, Josephine. And Lula, Archie, Claude, Mabel, Leona, Clarence, Cassius, Mercy, and Bernadette. And the little ones, Samson, Augustine, Ephraim, Calvin, Jack, Grover and Marjorie. And the triplets, Chester, Adeline, and Floyd. Blessed be! Please, dear lord. Clearly some time has passed because there is no chance this is not a joke product. And you don’t promote joke products on the 19th of November. You do that on April first. Damn those abominable clydesdales!”
No. It’s not a joke (I don’t think). Someone put money into this project and is hoping to recoup it. Hey, I hope they do. I have my own ideas for some essential editions of The Expert at the Card Table that I will be releasing soon as a c̶a̶s̶h̶ ̶g̶r̶a̶b̶ valuable contribution to the art.
Do you wear a ring? Well wouldn’t you like to see illustrations of someone who is also wearing a ring? We’ve got you covered with…
The Expert at the Card Table: Ring Edition
Do you wear a lot of rings? Is wearing a lot of rings your “thing”? Do you think it comes off cool but everyone around you thinks you’re trying too hard? Well get ready for…
The Expert at the Card Table: A Lot of Rings Edition
Are you black? No you’re not. You’re reading a magic blog. I’m just playing the odds here. But let’s say you’re black. Aren’t you sick of the cracker’s “bible” of card magic? A lot of privilege in that book, if you ask me. Must be real nice for whitey to be able to pick up any magic book and find illustrations that look like him. Well, I’ve solved that problem with…
The Expert at the Card Table: Soul Edition
Lose two fingers grabbing a handful of peach smoothie from a running blender?
The Expert at the Card Table: Smoothie Lover Edition
Are you wearing short sleeves and have hairy arms?
The Expert at the Card Table: Robin Williams Commemorative Edition
Do cocaine?
The Expert at the Card Table: Cokehead Edition
Super gay?
The Expert at the Card Table: Dong Lover’s Edition
Inspired by this release, this Friday’s post (which is black Friday and the unofficial start of the holiday shopping season) will be a guide to magic’s least essential products. Feel free to nominate any products you think qualify via email.