Dustings #44
/Do you have a manipulation act? Do you want to go on America’s Got Talent or some show like that? I have an idea for you.
One time, years ago, I was watching a guy on youtube doing a manipulation act. I have no idea what he was making appear. Probably cards or some shit. Anyway, whenever he would produce a new fan of cards he would make this expression of surprise, like, “Where did that come from?”
My reaction was, “Why are you surprised? What did you think you were going on stage to do if not to produce these cards?”
But that gave me a good idea for an AGT audition piece.
You walk on stage. “I’m here to sing ‘On My Own’ from Les Miserables. [Clears throat] On…my ow-BLECHHH!!!” And you do that thing where it looks like you vomit cards out of your mouth. You’re legitimately concerned. Both because you just spit up a bunch of cards and because your big singing debut is ruined. You toss away the cards. “Sorry, I don’t know—I’ll just start over.” But as you go to reach for the microphone, a fan of cards appears in your hand. You immediately drop it, scared of what you’re seeing. Then you notice one in your other hand. You start tossing these fans of cards aside but they keep reappearing. “I’m sorry! I don’t know what’s happening. I just want to sing my pretty song!” you wail, as you keep pulling cards from the air and from every orifice.
Well, it’s the beginning of an idea, at least. The basic concept is that instead of conveying faux surprise when you’re clearly there for a magic performance, you act as if you’re there for some other reason.
If you’re thinking, “Yeah, but they’re going to know it’s not real after the first few seconds,” then you may not have the comic sensibilities to pull this off. Yes, I realize they’ll know it’s not real. This is just the premise you would use as the comedic structure of your first appearance on the show.
It might be good to foreshadow what’s about to occur. Perhaps you could get them to do one of those sappy intro pieces on you. “I lost my job in 2019. It’s been a real struggle. I couldn’t even afford a suit for my appearance today. I had to borrow this one from my brother-in-law, from his days as a magician.” Next thing you know, you’re trying to sing Memory from Cats and at every gesture you make doves are appearing all over the place, changing color, vanishing, etc.
Perhaps this is a notion that just appeals to me. That might be the case. I just think there’s something funny about a manipulation routine where the magician isn’t reacting with cocky pride or theatrical confusion to whatever’s appearing, but with genuine human confusion.
“What the crap? Where did this bird come from?”
“Holy shit. There’s another bird here. That F’n bird was like… made up of two different birds or something! Did you see that?!”
“Another cage? How can this be? I’m sorry… I just wanted to twirl my baton for you. I don’t know what’s happening.”
For those who have been following along with the evolution of the Alphablocks concept on this site, there is a new variation called Linguablocks that you can check out on Warwick Harvey’s site here. Linguablocks is similar to Alphablocks with the difference being that it gives you words rather than random groupings of letters. So whatever “oracle” you’re using to divine their word (even if that oracle is just your mind) is going to be spitting out words rather than as opposed to letters, which may make more sense depending on the premise you’re using.
Warwick has also added a timeline of the tool and associated ideas on the main page of the site. So if you haven’t been following along here, that might be a good place to start.
For those of you who aren’t on Ellusionist’s mailing list, you missed an important announcement recently.
They get this request at least ten times a week! So, conservatively, over the past year, they’ve received 500 emails asking them for their artwork so that someone could get an Ellusionist tattoo. Wow! One thing that’s unclear is if this is 500 different people making this request, the same rabid group of ten fans each week, or just one very persistent retard.
What type of Ellusionist tattoos might you want? Well, here are some of the offerings. And no, this isn’t me trying to be funny. These are tattoos they think people might get.
And just so you’re not confused, the ad clearly states the artwork can be scaled up and down. So if you thought you had to gain and lose weight to match your body to the printed artwork, you can actually do it the other way around.
If you’re heading to prison and you don’t want to just go ahead and get a swastika or a Latin Kings tattoo to keep you safe on the inside, then I’d recommend getting an Ellusionist tattoo before you go in. It won’t signify a gang affiliation, but it will send a clear signal to everyone that you’re fucking insane.
Impressive? I mean… sure… it’s okay. But I’m not sure what he’s so impressed by. Yes, the mixed media with the sticker and the pencil on the envelope is somewhat advanced, but I’ve done stuff almost as good and I don’t even really try that hard. I will also admit that if one of those figures in the second image is supposed to be Josh, then she does a very good job of capturing the lack of musculature in his legs. But otherwise, I don’t really see what’s so great about this.
Also, Josh, it’s stationEry with an E (you’ll remember because it goes in an Envelope). That, for once, is not a shot at Josh. I mix up my homophones all the time when writing, even though I know which is correct if I bother to think about it. This is just to pass along the “envelope” mnemonic which is one of the few grammar mnemonics that’s always stuck for me.