GLOMM Industry Standards

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It’s long been said that the nine most reassuring words in the English Language are, “I’m from the GLOMM, and I’m here to help.”

The Global League of Magicians & Mentalists is the world’s largest magic organization. If you’re not a convicted sexual criminal, you’re already a member.

I’ve decided to start using the power of the GLOMM for other purposes. These aren’t really important issues. Not cosmically important, at least. But I believe there are other ways I can use the reach of this site and the GLOMM for the purposes of good in the magic community.

I’m going to be introducing some “GLOMM Industry Standards” (Or GIS (pronounced “jiz”)).

These are standards that I feel the magic industry should stick to.

Individuals or companies that breach these standards will be noted on this site. If a person or company has three or more infractions, they will be removed from the GLOMM for failing to adhere to industry standards.

You’ll be placed on a different page than the sex predators. So at least there’s that.

My goal is not to kick anyone out. My hope is that by creating some minor repercussions, that people will be less likely to engage in violating these industry standards if it means they’re going to be highlighted here.

So let’s start with three standards. I will add more as time goes on. Feel free to send me some.

GIS #1 - Impromptu Usage

Calling a trick “impromptu” in your ad copy means that it uses no secret objects unknown to the spectator.

Example: If a trick uses a Loop, then it is not impromptu.

Impromptu does not have to mean propless. A trick with a deck of cards, a sharpie, and a belt could be considered impromptu because all of these things could be gathered to perform in a casual setting.

If your trick requires you to carry a gimmick it is not an impromptu trick.

“Yes, but it looks impromptu.”

That’s a meaningless statement.

Exception: If your trick requires you to use something secretly that most people have on them most of the time, it can still be considered impromptu. For example, if the trick requires the secret use of your phone or a key, that could still be considered impromptu. But the secret use of a gimmicked key, would make the trick no longer impromptu.

There are definitely gray areas here that will be taken on a case-by-case basis. The most basic question is, “Does this trick require the secret use of an item that most people don’t carry with them regularly?” If the answer is yes then the trick is definitely not impromptu.

GIS #2 - Clothing Requirements

If your trick has clothing requirements, they must be mentioned in the ad copy.

The only thing you can assume is that the performer will have a shirt on and shorts or pants with at least one pocket. While that’s not always the case, it’s standard enough to assume in most circumstance.

A trick that requires:

  • A black shirt.

  • Long sleeves.

  • A suit jacket.

  • A tie.

Anything like that needs to be mentioned.

Why? Because some people aren’t in a situation where they can perform in that attire. You don’t want people to spend their money on a trick they can’t perform in their situation, right? Of course not. You’re a good guy.

GIS #3 - App Longevity

Magic apps should be usable for at least three years past the date of sale.

You don’t just release an app and support it until you’re sick of supporting it. You support it for at least three years after it was most recently purchased.

It’s fine if you want to pull your app from the market, but you should make sure it’s still usable for three years past the date the last person bought it.

This isn’t unreasonable. I’m not saying you have to keep it working forever. I know technology changes. But certainly it’s fair for people to think they’ll get a few years out of their purchase.

This is for your benefit, by the way. What scares people off from buying apps sometimes is that they’re concerned it’s not going to work 5 months from now. If they can say to themselves, “Well, it’s $120, but at the very least I’ll get three years out of it,” that’s going to give them peace of mind to feel more comfortable buying it.

You may include the phrase “We adhere to the GLOMM Industry Standard for App Longevity” in your ad copy to really hammer the point home.

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There you have it. The first three GLOMM Industry Standards. If you would like to take issue with one of these or suggest another, feel free to email me.

These are not going to be retroactive, by the way. I don’t want to be mopping up shit from nine years ago. But feel free to keep me apprised of any violators you notice going forward.