Mailbag: Declining Performing

I like performing stuff, but it’s usually when I feel like it. There are contexts where for whatever reason it feels off. And I usually decline. I have noticed a few things and situations that make this happen:

- if there are other people around (not part of the group) and my friends ask specifically for some card tricks. I think I feel self-conscious of the magiciany look of pulling a deck of cards out and people seeing. Or even... getting outside people seeing us and asking for more tricks. There is something about doing more than 1 or 2 tricks one after the other that feels weird to me.

- if there is the potential of other outside people asking for more tricks. It’s not the performing for a stranger that bothers me at all. I’m fine with that. It’s the, i just did 1 or 2 tricks so now a 3rd or 4th is like too much. As if 1 or 2 things is normal and over that is already magiciany and performing monkey or whatever you want to call that. I don’t actually enjoy that feeling.

[…]

- Even though i love doing card tricks. It’s like there are moments where it’s just weird to do card tricks even if people ask. Specially standing up. If there are tables around that I can use, card tricks feel normal. But actually holding a deck in hand and performing standing up for example, that way is part of that magiciany look. Again. I love card tricks. And performing them. It’s just some contexts that make it feel weird to me. Like a full group standing up and I’m part of the group

[…]

Do you actually have times when you decline performing? Or have heard this situation for other magicians?

I have no clue exactly what the "magiciany look" is that bothers me. But it’s there enough to notice it.—JFC

It sounds like you’re carrying around a deck of cards with you. If you do that, and if you show people card tricks, then you are going to be known as the guy who goes around and shows people card tricks. So yeah, you can’t be surprised if people are asking for more and more.

It’s like you’re walking around with a bag of potato chips. Someone is going to take one, then another, then another. Why? Because they’re fucking potato chips, that’s why you do with them.

But imagine you took that person over to a table and had a waiter bring out a single slice of potato, blanched to achieve an optimal texture before being gently submerged in a bath of premium, high-smoke-point oil; then crisped to a golden hue before being dusted with artisanal sea salt—and then you had them eat it, slowly, piece by piece, savoring each bite. They’re still eating a potato chip, and they might crave more, but they’re not going to say, “I’ll take 50 more of these.”

This is the difference between presenting something like it’s meant to be scarfed down, and presenting something like it’s meant to be savored.

Most magicians treat card tricks like they’re Peanut M&Ms, meant to be consumed by the handful.

That’s fine if you want to do a lot of card tricks for people.

But if not, then it’s up to you to reframe the nature of the interaction.

For me, that means not coming off as someone who has a bunch of card tricks memorized. Sure, I occasionally have one that I’m working on. But—as far as they know—I don’t have a library of card tricks in my head ready to go at all time. I never perform that way, so they don’t expect it from me.

A strong premise also helps for this sort of thing. If they think of what they’re seeing as simply a “card trick,” then they might expect you to have a bunch more to show them.

But if I say, “Hey, can you help me practice this gambling move I’m working on? I’ve got a poker game I’m going to next Friday, and they actually encourage cheating—so long as you don’t get caught.” Then it makes less sense to ask to see another one when it’s over, because the context of the interaction wasn’t just: “Watch me do a card trick.”

If people already know you as the “card trick guy,” it may be hard or impossible to change that. But you can always just tell people you haven’t really been keeping up with the card tricks so much recently. “Oh, I do have one that I’ve been working on.” This preps them for the idea that you don’t have an endless stream of tricks to come, so they should really focus on this one.

But the “magiciany” look you’re worried about seems primarily driven by pulling out a deck of cards and showing multiple card tricks. If you don’t like that look (and I don’t blame you if you don’t), then you should challenge yourself to leave the deck at home and build your repertoire of stuff that can be done with everyday objects or nothing at all.