Dustings #43
/I was reminded of the layman experience the other day after watching this video.
I’ll be honest—and this may make me sound dumb—but this fooled me when I first watched it, which was right before going to sleep the other night. Then, the next day, I did 15 seconds of research and realized what was going on.
Now, here’s the thing, I wanted to search for an answer, but once I found one, I wished that I hadn’t found one.
One of the notions I’ve fought against since the beginning of this site is the idiotic idea that people only try to figure out your tricks if you’re a bad magician. That’s nonsense. Magic only exists when people watch your tricks with a critical eye. To get the feeling of an “impossibility” people need to test what they’re seeing against what they know is possible. Googling a trick is just an extension of the same thought process you want them to engage in when they’re watching.
The better you are as a magician—the stronger your tricks are—the more you’re going to have to deal with that.
If you become very good at crafting hard to penetrate mysteries, and the people you’re performing for understand you’re not trying to make them look stupid or make yourself look cool with your tricks, then you can—over time—get them to realize that they’re just wasting their time trying to search for answers, and they might as well just enjoy the ride. But that takes time. If you think you’re just going to immediately charm someone into that type of response with your incredible magic, you’re just fooling yourself.
But, to reiterate something I’ve said before, just because they might feel compelled to search for an answer, that doesn’t mean they want to find one. I’ve seen people search for an answer online and immediately find an explanation or a link to where to buy a trick, and I’ve also seen people search and find absolutely nothing to explain this mystery they’ve just seen. And almost universally—even though people may think what they want is an answer—people seem more excited when they can’t seem to find any explanation for what they witnessed.
Do I wish that guy had some secret way to scoot his glutes across the floor to drive away rather than the boring reality of what was really going on? Of course!
Here’s an Imp I used earlier this week. It was inspired by Monday’s mailbag question about how I handle being asked to repeat a trick, and my response which offhandedly mentioned a “lucky crystal.” While I don’t think the “lucky crystal” idea is all that interesting, for some reason this expansion of the concept seemed to really capture the imagination of the person I was performing for.
I gave my friend a crystal to hold onto and explained to her that supposedly it was a good luck charm. “I don’t necessarily believe in that sort of thing,” I said, “but I thought this was kind of interesting. Usually you think of a lucky charm and it’s just the sort of thing that is apparently lucky because people have deemed it so. There’s not too much rationale behind it. But what’s different about this is that it’s the first time I’ve heard of one of these charms having some sort of ‘mechanism’ behind how it works. I don’t know that I fully understand it. But what they say is that this crystal can absorb excess luck. Like, supposedly, there’s extra luck around us all the time that we’re not taking advantage of, because you don’t need luck for a lot of what you do throughout the day. So it just goes to waste. But this crystal can consume it and store it until you need it. It’s like when you have a glow-in-the-dark plastic skeleton. It doesn’t naturally glow. But if it’s exposed to light it can absorb it and then reflect it back later when it’s dark. Apparently this crystal does the same thing with luck.”
From there I went on to demonstrate the “luck” in the crystal.
I hadn’t thought too much of the idea originally, but the person I was performing for was really taken with the idea of this crystal that could “absorb excess luck” for when you needed it later. I left the crystal with her at the end, of course.
So there’s a new wallet out called the Climax Wallet.
I was going to make the obvious cum-related jokes about and be like, “Hey they stole my idea. I can prove it. Here’s my prototype…”
Blah, blah, blah. Admittedly, not the funniest shit in the world, but sometimes you’ve got to pick the low-hanging fruit.
But anyways, while googling semen wallet I came across a whole page of cum related wallets on Cafe Press.
It’s really strange. They’re selling this garbage for SEVENTY FIVE GODDAMN DOLLARS a piece!
You have your basic stuff like:
And then, for people with a more refined palate…
In general it looks like these were all designed originally to be put on t-shirts with no thought at all given to the proper cropping required to put these images on wallets. Or even if it would make any sense at all…
When your wallet is the only shirt you have with no cum on it, your life has really spun out of control.
However the most bizarre design on the “Cum Wallets” page was probably this one…
Uhm… congratulations?