Nice Package

Dude, how bad do you feel for Ellusionist?

You know what I’m talking about. You know exactly what I’m talking about.

Ellusionist put out that box of mentalism late last year. The one that was supposed to help you get your dick sucked or something like that? I don’t really remember. But I do remember they were really proud of their high-quality box and the “secret” second layer and all that jazz.

I’ll admit, the box itself was good quality. It was well-made with a nice sturdy cardboard and featuring the one design element that appeals to every virgin magician: a skull. (What would magicians do if they couldn’t put skulls on shit? “I can’t put a skull on the back of these playing cards? Okay, that’s no problem at all. I’m sure I can think of something else. Let’s see…Hmmm… oh! I’ve got an idea. What if I put a big skull on it? No? That’s the same thing? Well then… what do I put on it? Is there something else that exists besides skulls? What’s left for me to put on this…. just the inky black void of space itself?”)

It is completely unsurprising that the imagery that magicians most identify with is an empty head.

So Ellusionist puts this packaging together and was likely very proud of themselves.

Then what do I do, like the nasty little bitch that I am?

I send out my 2019 supporter reward featuring the most glorious packaging in the history of magic.

Sorry, Ellusionist.

Look, this isn’t a competition between us. Yes, I poke fun, but it comes from a place of affection. But let’s be honest, when it comes to the magic packaging game, ya just got your ass handed to you on a platter.