Dustings #96

/

In this post, I responded to a question about referring to a cum-stiffened sock in the premise for a trick. I said it was too far removed from the actual trick to really make sense. The humor of that premise is just laid on top of a trick it really doesn’t have anything to do with.

I know what you’re thinking…

But Andy, the holidays are coming up, and I really wanted to do a cum-stiffened sock trick for my Christmas party shows!

Okay, okay, settle down. Don’t worry. I have a trick for you.

You come out and say…

Anyone who was once a teenage boy or who raised a teenage boy will know what this is…

That’s right… the good ol’ cum sock

[Hold for applause.]

For any of you women in the audience who don’t know, the cum sock is what a young man entering adulthood pumps his hot loads into so as not to make a mess of his sheets or the house cat.

Now, I actually got into magic because of the cum sock.

[If you can cry on command, now would be a good time.]

My mom used to get furious at me because I never had any socks to wear because they were all filled with pints of my warm man-milk.

So I learned a magic spell that solved the problem and transferred the semen out of the sock…

Inside the sock you will have something like a breakaway wand apparatus, so it can jut out, but on your cue you can make it fall limp.

You time this so it happens as you talk about making the jizz disappear from the sock.

To conclude the trick, you should give some explanation as to where it all went. If you’re a real charmer, like a Channing Pollock type, you can imply it’s gone out to the vaginas of the ladies in the audience. “In 9 months, many of you will be having a magical delivery that looks…a bit like me.” *wink*

I would probably rig something up in my pants so it looked like my balls suddenly grew as the spunk went back inside, and I’d double over in pain.

Or you could say something like, “The bad part is, you never know where it’s going to go.” And then a couple of seconds later you’re like…

Is anyone going on the The Retreat to Egypt? The Retreat is something Vanishing Inc puts on where they get a bunch of magicians together and visit different parts of the globe.

It looks like the Egypt Retreat is sold out, but waiting list spots are available. For just $10,000 you can explore Egypt—see the Pyramids, ride a camel, and take a cruise down the Nile—with Joshua Jay and Andi Gladwin.

I was lucky enough to land one of the premium “deluxe” packages for $15,000. It’s all the same stuff, but you don’t have to do it with Josh and Andi.

Am I dumb? Is this really how it’s done?