5 Things to Make Vanish
/Trash
This is my favorite thing to vanish. Balled-up napkins. Straw wrappers. Coffee stirrer sticks. Receipts.
When people think about what they would do with real magic powers, they think of things like making money appear, or making people fall in love with them, or healing illness. Things like that.
And sure, that’s what you’d do if you had real wizard-like magic powers. But if you had real low-level powers, I think making trash vanish would be something you’d do on the regular.
This is something I pretty much only do on the offbeat. Often when I’m not even with anyone. I’ll get my coffee from the pick-up bar and the receipt is on top. I’ll head to a table. Ball up the receipt, false-transfer it into one hand. Continue to squeeze that hand a bit while my other hand ditches the receipt in my lap or pocket. This whole time I’m looking at my phone or laptop (this is where the Distracted Artist style originated). Then I’ll open my hand and briefly pay attention to it, blow across my palm, and look up as if I’m following something as it floats off into the air. That final action—where I am paying it some attention—takes half a second. Then I’m back focused on my book or phone or whatever.
I’ve vanished trash in the Distracted Artist way probably at least 2000 times in the past 10 years. Maybe 90+% of the time it goes unnoticed (or I don’t notice someone noticing). About 1 in 10 times I can see someone tilt their head or say something to someone they’re with and point to me out of my peripheral vision. And then maybe once every 2 or 3 months, someone will stand up, come over to me and be like, “I’m sorry… what just happened to your cocktail napkin?” (Or whatever.)
Now, 60 of those interactions over 2000 “performances” might not seem like a good batting average. But I’m convinced that I’ve had more of an impact by performing it this way than I would if I said, “Hey, watch this!” And drew attention to the vanish.
Pens
Pens have to be the most satisfying thing to vanish. Do a flip stick vanish.
And from there, it practically sleeves itself with a little flick.
Then you can say, “Oh, shoot. I still need that.” And reach into your bag and pull it out again. Or get up and go over to a drawer and pull it out of there. (Actually, it’s falling out of your sleeve as you reach into the bag or drawer.) So it’s as if you vanish the pen to wherever you normally keep it.
Money
I vanish change like I vanish trash. As if it’s a nuisance and I just want to be rid of it.
But when people notice I say, “Oh, I just don’t like carrying around change. I don’t even know why we have change these days. Just round things to the nearest dollar. It’s not 1950 where a nickel gets you two movies and popcorn. So yeah, I just send it away to a special savings account I have. When that account gets up to $100, I take myself out for a special meal.”
The Rep of having a special little savings account that you treat yourself with once your vanished change reaches a certain total is a fun, stupid little specific that also seems perfectly rational in a slightly magical world.
Cigarettes
The bare-handed vanish of a lit cigarette is probably the strongest close-up vanish you can do. It uses a cigarette pull and I keep one rigged up in one of my jackets during the cold months.
I don’t smoke. But when I’m around smokers it’s something I’ll frequently take the opportunity to do.
I tell them the cigarette has gone back in time and reappeared, unsmoked, back in their pack. Unless they just opened the pack or have only a few left, they usually can’t say for certain this isn’t the case. And they can’t get mad at me for denying them a cigarette. “No, it went back in time and is now back in the pack. And you had already smoked it a little so actually I gave you some extra cigarette-smoking pleasure. You’re welcome.”
Condoms
I’ve only done this once. I vanished a condom (in its package). And made it reappear (on my package).
I was heading to the bedroom with my girlfriend at the time, and she stopped in the bathroom for a moment while I prepped myself (so to speak).
When she got in the room and we were rolling around, I had her grab me a condom. When she was about to open it I said, “No, it’s cool. I got it.” I vanished it, then gestured for her to undo my pants for the big (well… medium-sized) reveal.
