Creep Updates
/
David Oliver (real name David Hussey)—seen here trying to get a peek of Shin Lim’s cock—has been kicked out of the GLOMM after pleading guilty in a Massachusetts court to fucking with boys he was supposed to be teaching magic to. (I don’t know what he actually plead to, but that’s close enough.)
According to his Wikipedia page, “Oliver is known for his neoclassic style of performing stage magic.” But what I know him best for is his love of abusing children and the trust of their parents. After that, I know him as someone who once wore maxi-pads on his head like a sassy beret.
By the way, that creature in the picture above is two years younger than Brad Pitt. Apparently sexually abusing kids doesn’t keep you looking young and vibrant. It makes you look like you’re doing Humpty Dumpty cosplay.
On a similar note, recently I was threatened with my first lawsuit since starting this site. One of the ex-GLOMM members that I’ve talked shit about wrote me to tell me that he didn’t like what I wrote about him and that since getting out of jail he actually had gotten his life together and what he did was a mistake, and so on.
I wrote him back: “I wish you the best of luck staying on the right path.”
He wrote me back asking me to take down the article because he wanted this incident to “go away.”
I didn’t respond.
He wrote back a few hours later saying he was going to sue me if I didn’t remove the article in 48 hours.
I replied: “This is the last nice message you're going to get from me. No, I won't take the post down. (And no, you can't sue me for making jokes about you.) That post is the consequence of your own actions. I haven't mentioned you on my site for over three years. And, at this point, I have no intention of doing so in the future. We can keep it that way. Or, if you want, you can try and start shit with me. I think that would be a mistake on your part. But it's up to you.”
I haven’t heard from him since. Perhaps he still has plans to send his lawyers after me. I don’t know. At this time I’m not going to mention his name again on this site. But I do want to send a heartfelt message to him and anyone else in the same position who gets a smart idea to threaten me: Eat my asshole, bitch. You don’t like having your name mentioned along with your crime? Well…tough shit. I’m going to be honest with you, when I write these posts, my goal is to do something you wouldn’t like. Sooooo… you coming to me and telling me you don’t like it is just confirmation of a job well done. So thank you.
Here’s the deal, an argument can be made that these people have “paid their debt to society” and therefore it’s wrong of me to bring up their past. Yes, they have paid a legal debt. But they have not paid their cosmic debt. The people they victimized are not suddenly made whole because they did their jail time or probation time. And while it’s much less significant than the toll these perpetrator’s actions took on the victims and their families, their actions also took a toll on magic and other magicians because it negatively impacts the perception of the art and its practitioners. Especially when the perpetrator used magic as part of the grooming of their victim or met their victim through magic (as happened with David Oliver above and many/most of the people who have been kicked out of the GLOMM). So you can see me as the magic community’s small bit of retribution. God knows none of the “proper” magic organizations are going to do shit about it.
Look, I see myself as a very reasonable person. I don’t think you’re a terrible person for thinking, “I want to fuck that little league team.” Or whatever your temptation may be. You want to assault every woman walking down the street? That’s fine. You should maybe get help for that so you don’t feel so tortured but I don’t judge you for your desires. I judge you for giving into them when you know your actions will hurt or take advantage of someone else. Listen, pedophiles and sexual predators… I’m trying to empower you! Okay… that’s a sentence I never thought I’d write. What I’m saying is: you are not the fucked-up thoughts in your head. You are the things you do. If you’re not a complete psychopath you probably think you’re evil or broken because of these thoughts. But it’s not the thoughts that matter, it’s the actions.
In the parlance of a recent post, these thoughts may be things you want to do but they are likely not things you want to have done.
So let this be your fun little secret you take to the grave with you. Every day you wanted to covertly record your niece going to the bathroom or fist-fuck the neighbor’s doberman or whatever your compulsion was, but you never did. In this way you’re actually a better person than me, who never faced those desires in the first place. You’re a secret hero. I’m not being facetious.
And if you messed up in the past, you can be that hero going forward. But you also have to own your past. And if your instinct is, “I need to write this magic blogger so he takes down the post talking about my rape conviction!” That’s not great ownership.
But whatever you do, if your goal is to distance yourself from your past actions, you must certainly not threaten that blogger that you’re going to sue him. Because then, rather than one post disappearing down the vast archives of this site, I’ll be writing about your dumb ass every day. You’re not dealing with a pre-pubescent child this time. You can’t silence me with threats.